I can´t believe it´s been 2 full years!!! Well I haven´t have much of a life to start… I got 2 schollarships, MD and Ph.D, still strugelling with both of them… I´ve been writting a lot, but not this kind of writting… more of the Academic type… boring as hell… or worse…
A couple of days ago a friend asked me something that put me in serios “thingking mode”… why I´m alone? but alone as in single… as in no boyfriend… usually I say “it´s complicated” but is not… the answer is more simple than what everybody thinks…
It´s a choice, yes… but because I haven´t find the guy of MY choice… I´m not the kind of girl that starts a relationship to avoid the void that produces the lack of a relationship…
I started 2 relationships like that… and the both of them just blew up in or faces… hard! So I decided to wait… just wait… but for what?!?! For the one that not only loves me, cares for me, and all of that, but for the one that represents an intelectual equal…
WTF? yes… I know this is going to soud extra arrogant… but is known that I´m a nerd… and I´m proud of it… I know things that I don´t know why I know them, but I do… I´ve been places, met people, read a lot… seen, heard smelled and felt things… and I really need someone that can share not only my curiosity, but that understand my need for knowledge…
I can´t plan a longterm relationship with someone I have to explain 5 out of 3 words I say, or why I need to have a book close by, o why when I´m bored I read wikipedia… It´s just pfff… not for me…
I really don´t kmow or care if anyone can understand this… but this is how it is…
I miss you
I just do…
Okj, so one of my very favourite friends just told me this…
“In life, we’ve only 4 enemies. First one is the one that won’t let us grow up… makes us angry and even hatefull… is FEAR… it won’t let us progress… once we’ve come through it comes the second one… potencially more dangeorus and even deadly… CLARITY… we see everything is fine, ‘cause we are not afraid, and face any situation, and we can really harm ourselves. Third one is POWER, with a lot of clarity and no fear we get power… we do a lot of things, ‘cause we pass the previous 2 enemies, and we outstand ourselves from others…. But we find ourselves face to face with the fourth one… TIME… we realize that with power, clarity and no fear, we don’t have time to do good things!! We are born with nothing and we’ll leave with nothing, that’s the secret of life!! Between clarity and power there are a lot of things to do for the others, while we can… Grudges, fear, material stuff and sadness are in a second stage…The secret is always in the path we chose when we get Clarity in life and hace the power of free will”
So very wise… I just love this friend :D
It’s been a while… I know… I only write when I can’t do anything else… but for the past 3 days I’ve had this urgent need of explode… I’ve got so much violence in me that I can not only hold it for long, but I can’t stand it… It’s been so long since the last time I felt like this… That I kinda forgot how to handle it… 14 years has gone since the last time anyone could got on my nerves like this… I can’t believe how it manage to put me like this… I just hate it!!!
I hate the fact that is f ing with the resto of me… I bet my blood pressure is way high from where it should be… This is way too much!!!!
It’s like a black hole sucking me in…
I hate it!!!
I’ve been kinda quiet… that’s basically because 1.- I don’t have anything interesting to say and 2.- ‘Cause I haven’t had the time…
The other day I started my archery lessons…. It’s GREAT!!! but it hurts!!! yesss my hole left side hurts like hell… and I’ve got 3 nasty bruises that also hurt, but not as mucha as the rest of my…. I’m soooo out of shape!!!
Even though is amazing how many things you have to have in consideration while makin’ the “presentation” movement… breathe, feet, hips, shoulders, elbows… breathe… pull and let go… remember not to flinch or move your left arm in the release…just let the arrow go!!
Amazing feeling leting go without wanting it to stay…
And of course you don’t see anything… one second is here… the next there… AMAZING!!!
I’m so happy!!! :D :D
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it’s been like a year since my brother left home, to star his own life… completelly on his own… and is incredible how our life changed…
The last couple of weeks he has been back, cause he had a surgery and he couldn’t be left alone… he needed us… his girls…
I really missed finishing dinner in a laught attack.. you know… those you can’t stop and you just have to keep laughing untill your hole body eaches?! THOSE! I love them… and apparently my brother is the only one who can provoke une in me…
I really miss him… eventhough he is still a pain…^^
So… Last night I had another close encounter with my own nature…
I’m the kind of person who can delegate until a certain point where people won’t do whatever there is to do in the way I want… No I’m not a control freak, but I like things done correctly…
The advantege is that I know when to give in to a certain something or one… but kneelling is tireing… as a matter of fact my knee can’t take it… But people get’s used to think or believe that can take you for granted….
that’s when the situation begins to itch… and it itches until it starts hurting… when it hurts… I blow up.. and the colaterals are very big and I really don’t care… I don’t apollogise when I blow… ‘cause it’s my right…
That makes me unpredictalbe?! Not really… I usually give sings… the thing is that people can’t read them… can’t or won’t… their problem… I always give a heads up… so I also got the “I warned you so” card when apollogies are demmanded…
So yes… Maybe I am a control freak… but I just don’t like loose ends, idiotic or lazy people and peolpe that takes me for granted…¬¬